And I remember...

So 1 year ago today I was held up in my apartment, with bed sheets covering every single window in the place, I had been up for 7 days, I hadn't talked to my family in three weeks and I was all alone, just me, meth, porn, and the computer. It was the Friday of Labor Day weekend and I was taking a four hour break to start another long run, I am sitting on my filthy couch watching my TiVo crying my eyes out at a Law & Order: Criminal Intent episode when I hear a knock at my door. I think it's the police, not only because of my meth psychosis but also because there was a warrant out for my arrest. I saw this handsome face staring at me, I figured a cop, but no I open the door to see my brother in law and sister standing before me. I was half naked, reeking of meth sweat, piss, sex, lube, you name it I was covered in it. I didn't want them to come in because my place was such a gross mess, but they said they didn't mind and talked their way in. They told me that they loved me, and that I needed help because I was worrying the shit out of my parents, I cried uncontrollably for a while till we figured out a plan, we called the rehab I went to YEARS ago, Alternatives, and get assured that I could probably move in on Monday or Tuesday. They took me to a hotel to detox in North Hollywood, and they fed me. They stayed with me for two days, and then let me stay at my place alone, for one night before checking into rehab. Cut to, almost one year later (yesterday) when my mom, sister, brother in law and nephew all drove out to see me, and congratulate me on my year off meth. I have to say these have been two of the most amazing days I have had this last year. I got to hug, hold, and kiss my mamita and show her the man I have grown into. Today I got to show her even more, when she came to school to get her hair done by me, I usually hate doing all the Aveda rituals like massages, mini facials, and makeup touch ups but today I pampered my mother like there was no tomorrow. Seeing her face glow, and looking into her eyes and seeing not only pride, but also a sense of calm that her son isn't out there getting fucked up and disappearing for weeks on end. Seeing my family, and their happiness really reminds me of how many people I can affect with what I do, and it will surely keep me clean for a long long time.

Be Italian, you rapscallion, live today as if it may become your last...

So as I was in the middle of rehearsal today, I overheard from all the way across the room the words nine, trailer, Fergie, fabulous all in one sentence which sent me running all the way across the room to investigate.

My wish then came true, I found out the the trailer to the new Rob Marshall movie, “Nine” was out...now let me tell you that Nine is my favorite musical of ALL TIME. I have a nostalgic story to why. As I actually mentioned a couple of days ago, I went to a theater camp in the Catskills called Stagedoor Manor, where I made lots of dear friends. One of which was this beautiful, troubled girl named Joanna Rappaport...and we became the best of friends instantly for many reasons, but what first drove us together was that we had the same last name (though mine is spelled Rapoport) but we were affectionately called The Two Rapoports (people would sing that to the tune of Two Ladies from Cabaret) anyway we became extremely close when we were both cast in Hair. After that show went up, and was over with, I was cast in Chess as the arbiter and she was cast in Nine as Luisa, the main character's wife...I was of course totally focused on my show, and also I had never seen or heard of Nine so I had no idea what they were going through. Both shows shared the same stage, so we got to see each other's dress rehearsals. The moment those lights went down at the end of Act 1 I was amazed and in tears at such a beautiful show. A show which touches me even more now, when I feel like I have to say goodbye to that immature little boy in me, and have to grow up and man up.

There is a tragic part to this story, and that is that about 5 or so years after I last saw her, I got a call from a mutual friend saying that Joanna had committed suicide. It didn't surprise me as she was a very broken woman, but it still killed me to no end that I wasn't more a part of her life after we had finished camp, she was after all the reason why I went to the performing arts boarding school that I went to.

On a lighter note, while I was in boarding school, during one of our brakes I took the train down to NYC to check out the first preview of the new musical Titanic, which is written by the same man as Nine, Maury Yeston, and I had the honor of meeting him and seeing what is another one of my top ten musicals of all time. I told him all about Stagedoor Manor and how much his musical meant to me, he was very gracious and hoped that I would enjoy his new work, which of course I did. So without further ado here is the trailer to the new movie NINE.

P.S. Can I just say how AMAZING Fergie is sounding!? What an amazing vocal performance, and not sure if many people know that Fergie was once a meth addict herself, which she has spoken about in past interviews so it's not like I'm breaking her anonymity. Anyway, enjoy Nine!