You're beautiful, you're beautiful, it's true...

So I have made this very shallow observation about myself, most of my friends are fucking drop dead gorgeous. I never knew I was so shallow, but apparently I am. I feel like most of my friendships start off with me having a crush on them, and basically winning them over with my shinning personality, honesty, and humor (of course). This is probably the reason why I have developed my Rhoda complex. I have been trying to cope with that complex a lot lately because all these people I have crushes on just don't feel the same way about me, and I guess I gotta learn how to cope with it, and I also gotta stop putting myself down. I just got a brand new haircut a couple of days ago, my usual summer haircut : a Mohawk; and I have not felt this sexy in a while, it's certainly a nice change of pace from how I felt being all clean shaven, and “normal” haired (which I had to be for the musical I was in). I finally feel like I'm bringing sexy back. I have also been thinking back to why I pick these friendships, I think identify with remoras...those are the small fish that always swim alongside sharks, and feed off the shark's leftovers. I feel like thats what I have been doing for years, just hanging out with these hunky sexy men, and then kinda just attract those they don't take. I know see this as not being exactly the healthiest thing for me to do for my self esteem, and even though I am not going to be dumping any of my friends because they are drop dead gorgeous, I will start working harder on being so comfortable with myself that no one will ever be able to bring me down, no matter what happens. Let's see how that works out for me...

Anyway it being Saturday, my video pick of the week is one of my favorite songs by a rock chic...here is Blondie with Maria!

When I get a brand new hairdo, with my eyelashes all in curls...

Alright so what a great day I had today, from start to finish. I started my day off with the weekly house process group, which went VERY well with the head of the rehab running it alone. It was nice because we usually see him in this position where we are afraid to approach him but today we saw a different side of him, one of compassion and inspiration, it was a great beginning.

I went on to get my hair did, and I tell ya I love what a new hairdo can do for your self esteem, adding that jump in your step, I did it at my friend Paul's salon, who's been doing my hair for almost 8 years now, we both moved to LA around the same time and have quite the history together. We always have a blast, because I usually come in with some crazy idea for my hair, or just tell him to go wild. Today, was one such day, and so he buzzed off most of my head and left me a cute little bang in the front to work with. I totally love it, and I am so fucking grateful for him because he is the inspiration behind my newfound career path. Speaking of which, today I had my first guest. I am lucky that the cut that she wanted was the same one I have been practicing for the last week or so. It was a bit stressful because I had moments where I was doubting my skills, and I was also being taught by this new teacher who has a different way of doing things, and I am trying to get my head to take in all this new information and at the same time keep the information I got stored in my head...anyway, it took me all of three fucking hours to do the same haircut I did yesterday on a doll head in an hour and a half. GRRRRRRRRRRR, but the lovely girl was quite sweet and patient with me, so bless her heart for grinning and bearing through it. In the end though it came out pretty nice, I definitely have the skill now all I need is to get more self confidence, which I think will help in being a lot faster, baby steps, baby steps...anyway I made it through the day, and everyone was happy with the results, so THERE. Anyway, I am off to bed since I got rehearsal all day today.

Anyway so my video for the week is one of my favorite ballads of all time, I just love this bitch, and I used to love her on KIDS Incorporated...along with Fergie, looks like THEY made it, out of KIDS INCORPORAAAAAATED! Here is the FIERCE Martika, with Toy Soldiers!