When I get a brand new hairdo, with my eyelashes all in curls...

Alright so what a great day I had today, from start to finish. I started my day off with the weekly house process group, which went VERY well with the head of the rehab running it alone. It was nice because we usually see him in this position where we are afraid to approach him but today we saw a different side of him, one of compassion and inspiration, it was a great beginning.

I went on to get my hair did, and I tell ya I love what a new hairdo can do for your self esteem, adding that jump in your step, I did it at my friend Paul's salon, who's been doing my hair for almost 8 years now, we both moved to LA around the same time and have quite the history together. We always have a blast, because I usually come in with some crazy idea for my hair, or just tell him to go wild. Today, was one such day, and so he buzzed off most of my head and left me a cute little bang in the front to work with. I totally love it, and I am so fucking grateful for him because he is the inspiration behind my newfound career path. Speaking of which, today I had my first guest. I am lucky that the cut that she wanted was the same one I have been practicing for the last week or so. It was a bit stressful because I had moments where I was doubting my skills, and I was also being taught by this new teacher who has a different way of doing things, and I am trying to get my head to take in all this new information and at the same time keep the information I got stored in my head...anyway, it took me all of three fucking hours to do the same haircut I did yesterday on a doll head in an hour and a half. GRRRRRRRRRRR, but the lovely girl was quite sweet and patient with me, so bless her heart for grinning and bearing through it. In the end though it came out pretty nice, I definitely have the skill now all I need is to get more self confidence, which I think will help in being a lot faster, baby steps, baby steps...anyway I made it through the day, and everyone was happy with the results, so THERE. Anyway, I am off to bed since I got rehearsal all day today.

Anyway so my video for the week is one of my favorite ballads of all time, I just love this bitch, and I used to love her on KIDS Incorporated...along with Fergie, looks like THEY made it, out of KIDS INCORPORAAAAAATED! Here is the FIERCE Martika, with Toy Soldiers!

I have confidence in sunshine, I have confidence in rain...

Gee wilikers, I feel so confident right now. I just got out of my session with my shrink a little while ago , and I am sitting at Java Detour in WeHo just wasting time before heading to school, but I had an amazing little break through leaving my shrink's office. There is this guy who has a session right after me, but since I usually left early I never saw him, but two weeks ago I had a whole bunch of shit that I had to get off my chest, anyway that's when we ran into each other and we both totally checked each other out, that felt really good. Today I got all purtied up knowing he would be there, anyway usually when it comes to guys I am attracted to I just giggle like a teenage girl, and just run like the dickens away from the situation, but this time I had worked myself up with the help of my therapist to have the balls to say hi, introduce myself and give the guy my number. Usually my head talks me out of it, but I think the fact that I am doing so well in my life (i.e. school, friends, landing a big role in the AALA show) that I actually followed through with it. I smiled at him , said hi, and gave him my card. He in return said “Hi my name is ________” and I returned the intro. It was a total rush for me to have actually gone through with something like that, I am truly growing as a man. I know that this little instance probably doesn't seem like much to anyone, but it does to me and it totally raised my spirits up and my “go get 'em” chutzpah. Also for once I have not started building our marriage in my head, or given him too much power either. If he calls great, if not I'll live. It has really gotten me on an upswing and in fact it woke me up, to the point that when I sat down to waste time at Java Detour before school, I decided to be productive and seriously start working on getting a job. First I tweaked my resume (tee hee I said tweak) into a more general, and not so salon centered resume, so that I may expand my job search to retail and the such. After which I have been hunting for work on different sites, and signing up for job sites like monster.com ; anyway it has been a great week so far, and what little I had to complain about is really out of my mind for now.

Gimme a head with hair, long beautiful hair...

So as I mentioned a couple of days ago I have finally gotten my hair stylist mojo. You see I felt like I was at a disadvantage when I started hair school, I didn't grow up doing my friends hair (like most girls in class) and I didn't have my passion for hair growing up, I had (and still have) a musical theater bug. I knew what a couple of things were because I love getting my hair done and my ex was a hairdresser.

The first month and a half of school I felt like a total retard, I couldn't get the jist of any of the procedures and nothing was sinking in, for a while I felt like maybe I had made a mistake in choosing this as my field of work, but then a couple of weeks ago we started studying men's haircutting. Suddenly, everything clicked with me, I found my own way of taking in the information and executing it. I suddenly became really good at it, I was finishing my haircuts before everyone else in class, even those who had been there since August (I started in December), and I wasn't cutting corners, or doing a lousy job, I was doing the haircut we were supposed to with the desired outcome.

From that day on my self esteem as far as hair styling is concerned has been growing exponentially and I have total confidence that slowly but surely I will master all haircuts presented to me and that I will make a great hairdresser some day.