Thank you for being a friend...again...

Boy what a difference a day makes, so last night I was gonna blog my ass off about my gal pal Nick dumping me as a friend, I was gonna write some scathing things about friendship and all that, but I was tired and decided to just go to bed and blog today. Well after a pretty uneventful day of being sick with a sore throat at home, I went to a meeting, and there he was. I politely said hello, but didn't really address him as he asked me to give him space. I was walking to the store to get myself a soda, and he ran after me, and proceeded to apologize for leaving me in my time of need, and we had an amazing conversation about how we were each doing. We both have a similar mindset at the moment of the program, I will of course only express how I feel at the moment, which to be honest could change tomorrow, you never know. I am tired of everyone being up in everyone's business. I mean before I even told anyone that I had slipped on alcohol, I was getting that look from everyone, you know the look the one that says “oh you poor poor unfortunate soul”. I have been thinking about weather I would still be going to meetings if I didn't have to, I am not sure if I would be going to them. I don't think I am better than anyone, but it just feels detrimental to me sometimes, I have to try and follow my sponsor's advice which is that I go to meetings for myself, not for others, but there is only so much shade I can take. I know there are plenty of people who are drug free without going to meetings, and it's not like I'm not trying to deal with my issues, I see a therapist once a week, and I am going to start working on the 12 steps on my own for a while till I start working them with my sponsor, just because I wanna fucking just work on them already I am tired of being in recovery limbo. So I am just glad to have my sister back in my life, because he is one of the few people that gets me, and doesn't judge me, well at least not anymore.