Try not to get worried, try not to turn onto problems that upset you,,,

I am quite the big worrier, I most likely learned that from my mother, she is the picture of a worrier. It has been known to take over my life, I try to fix other people instead of working on fixing myself. And something I learned in rehab was that you can't love others without loving yourself first. So it's been really hard for me go about my life when one of my closest friends in the world has been MIA, and I don't mean he's on tour with the singer, or chatting it up with the Golden Girls in MIAmi....I just mean he has fallen off the face of the earth. To those of you who don't have friends or family members with drug problems, then you may not be familiar with the fact that when we are on drugs we tend to disappear on our loved ones. I have been MIA on my friends and family countless amounts of times, and I guess maybe I'm having a taste of my own medicine. I spoke to this said friend about a week and a half ago briefly and he said he was still out there tweeking it up, and one thing I can tell you was that he sounded so sad, desperate to get back to a life where he is loved for who he is, and not for what he has (drugs, sex, etc.)
A couple of months ago something like this would have completely taken over my life, in fact when I first went to rehab 4 years ago, I left the rehab and sobriety because one of my close friends had relapsed and I spent days trying to track him down all over the city, when I finally did find him, at a seedy motel in West Hollywood, instead of calling my sponsor, or a friend in the program I picked up and outright joined him. I didn't come back into the program for another two and a half years or so. I used to think of myself as Captain Save-a-ho, trying to nurture big ol' messes into a normal state of being. Boy did I fail at that, and it wasn't till this last go around in rehab that I learned how to take care of myself first, how to put myself first. So I believe that that's what i've been doing lately. I am still going to school, I am still going to meetings, I am still hanging out with my friends who ARE sober. I still worry about my confidant, and want nothing more than to have him back with me, so we can go back to gaying it up around town listening to Cher; but all I can do is just let him know that I am here for him when he's ready and that I love him SO fucking much!