So I just got home from gay night at Knotts Berry Farm, and I had quite a blast in general. My stomach and head are still reeling from all those rollercoaster rides, but more acutely my heart is kinda broken a bit, you see I went with this guy who I have a crush on, and of course I have NO BALLS to tell him so, I just joke around about it, but thats about as far as I go, because I am a passive aggressive being. I totally went through my usual Mary/Rhoda complex experience, which to those who don't know me is the following. I always pick friends and/or crushes that are way hotter than I am. They end up liking me because I am funny as all hell, and I make them laugh; but I always get my heart broken because I put myself in this situation. The situation being that we go into a social setting where they are the focus of everyones adoration, and I am always the side note, or the after thought. So this guy was hit on by a whole bunch of cute boys, and I got hit on by no one. It's bad enough that I feel fat, and disgusting because of all of my sober weight, but in my head all of my insecurities are reinforced by total strangers. I really have to get me some more self esteem, and I also need to get me to a gym, I have lost three pounds on this new diet I am on (no carbs after 4pm) but I am sure I would loose a lot more weight if I actually worked out a couple of times a week. I keep putting it off, but I honestly gotta just get off my lazy and ass just do it, so that my gym mojo can return. Anyway, I gotta keep on working on myself, otherwise I am gonna keep getting down on myself for no real reason. Because I AM beautiful, DAMN IT!
On that note, it being Saturday I will share one of my favorite dance songs by the same artists that wrote “I'm Beautiful Damn It!” The Uncanny Alliance, so here they are with their song “I got my education”!
9 years ago
No comments:
Post a Comment