So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, adieu...

So a little while after I posted my last post something quite big happened, my last possession was taken away. I was sitting in my sober living's living room and I saw a tow truck pull up right next to my 2003 fire engine red Ford Mustang which I called Sylvester (after the fierce and amazing disco diva Sylvester) , and low and behold they took my baby away. It sucks for the obvious reason that my car is now property of the LA DMV till I pay all my tickets off and get my registration paid up. But my car was the last bit of my life that I still had left...my apartment gone, my things in storage, everything had slowly disappeared thanks to my using, my car though undrivable by me (my license in suspended due to my second DUI) was at least still mine, but not anymore. The surprising thing is that I didn't have a panic attack, or freak out, or cry or anything of the sort...instead I had a couple of cigarettes and repeated something I learned in rehab:

Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today, when I am disturbed it is because I find some person, place, thing , or situation some fact of my life as unacceptable to me. I can find no serenity until I accept this person, place, thing, or situation as being the way it is meant to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake.

I repeated that to myself about a million and one times, and all of a sudden all this stress that I was starting to build up just floated away, so I am grateful to this amazing tool that I learned in recovery, otherwise I would try and solve my problem in my old way of finding a needle and some shit to get me fucked up! Thank God I am not THAT guy anymore.

Speaking of being that guy, I also did something quite big today, I went up to this guy who was extremely inappropriate with me after a meeting and told him that I am not someone to be treated in a derogatory sexual way, unless I invite him to do so... Anyway, I had been holding onto this resentment for almost two months now and it felt great to let it out, in a peaceful manner and create boundaries where there had been none before. So YAHY me!