So I got back from a meeting a couple of hours ago where I had a very surprising event happen, actually a couple of things happened that I am quite surprised about. First of all, there has been this boy I have been totally obsessing over for the last couple of months who was at the rehab that I went to, and since we were both clients we couldn't do anything. So today he moved out of rehab and into another sober living, so for some reason, I honestly don't know where I got the balls to do this, I went up to him after the meeting and asked him out on a date. He said “we can hang out”, and then (I still don't know where I found my balls for this) said “no, I am asking you if you want to go out on a date with me”...and he shook his head.
9 months ago this would have devastated me completely, I would have run home crying, beating myself up, wondering what the hell was wrong with me that this totally broken down man did not want to go out with this fine piece of husband material, but...nothing...I wasn't upset by this at all. I wasn't exactly jumping up and down either, but it totally didn't affect me or my self esteem. I feel like I have made such growth in the last couple of months, first of all I finally had some balls to go up to someone and ask them out on a date, and second of all when I was rejected I didn't fall apart. I am so amazed at these new developments in my life.
Anyway, I am glad that my self esteem didn't take a hit, and to be honest i'm all “he is missing out on some great husband material here...it's HIS loss”, we'll see how long this lasts, hopefully this new attitude will stick.
9 years ago
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